I know I'm on to something when I woke up at 5am, thinking about a cheque I wrote to myself, thinking I forgot to sign it.
After berating myself mentally, I checked the cheque deposit receipt which has a scanned copy of the cheque. There it was - my signature. Phew. That saves an awkward trip to the bank.
Meanwhile, something I thought was flawless has flaws, but I'm working with someone to rectify that.
After last week's punishing schedule, I am left with only nervous energy in me this week. I can sense that my self - the me who is me - is saying that one of these things will happen. I loathe to put any expectations on anything, and have always been a pessimist. It's a safe choice - if I'm right, I'm right. If I'm wrong, it would be a pleasant surprise.
However, I believe that at this stage in my career, I can see some things take shape. My style has always been to lay down traps. To plant seeds and extrapolate their growth, positioning myself at what I believe to be the most opportune points.
This is why I like the Assassin character in Diablo 2. She sets traps, runs around, catches the demons' attentions, they chase her and then she runs back to where the traps are. In Red Alert (the first one), I like playing resource control - an obsolete, marathon tactic where you build base defense and let things come to you.
In history, defensive warfare was a revolutionary idea during the American Civil War. The Battle at Gettysburg was a clear demonstration of a headlong clash between two strategies and philosophies. The Confederate South, outnumbering the Union North, was going for a full on attack.
The Union used mostly defensive tactics, allowing the Confederates to advance and then shoot them from the cover of trees, hills and trenches.
This 'defensive warfare' was also used in World War I, when both sides at the European theatre dug deep. Both sides on the defensive, daring only to claim and reclaim just a few yards of muddy trenches which eventually filled with bodies.
The term 'trench warfare' predates any modern war. In Madinah, for example, there was the Khondaq War, when Mecca's Quraisy forces laid siege on Muhammad's Islamic rebels in the city. The Muslims dug trenches and waited patiently, having secured enough resources to weather the war of attrition.
Facing a stalemate, the two forces decided to hold duels between champions. Muslims won, blablabla.
These days, you can't play defensive anymore, as many video games reward the fastest player who could mount an assault. I got beat by 12 year olds. I'm an old man. My tactics are obsolete.
This is why I only play games I can win, using whatever tactic I like.
I only sat down and wrote all this to get me to sleep again. It is difficult without writing/wanking first.