Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The Mixed Supremacy

The mixed race - or Homo Sapiens Superior - is clearly the Master Race.

We are more good-looking, faster, stronger, better than any race in the world.

You want to fight us? Bitch? We got mixed-martial arts, which is basically only the best stuff from ALL martial arts, without the bullshit. We have the best food - mixed rice. Best feelings - mixed feelings. Best music - all recorded in ancient mixtapes. Best radio - MixFM. Best Transformer - Mixmaster.

We are the best in the world. And yet why do we serve these inferior monkey races? These... purebloods? I say that word with a bitter taste at the tip of my tongue.

Being of pure blood is a disadvantage. One virus can kill all of them, in a weekend. Our system is clearly more robust and we are genetically superior.

Every day I hear Malay supremacists or Chinese chauvinists - all of them racists - spouting their hate and diatribe. Fuck you. Your races and ethnicities are all inferior to ours. You are all outdated mammals, ready to be harvested into cheap meat for our mixed rice. Yes. We will eat you.

The greatest advantage for the mixed race is that we are not racist at all. We don't give a fuck, because all our parents fucked people from other races.

My parents are descendants of Malay (Bugis, Pattani) and Chinese (Cantonese). This particular mix actually scared the beejezus of a French lady I met.

"You're mixed Bugis-Chinese? Cordon Bleu!" She exclaimed, with widened eyes. As if I would don pirate garb, steal all her money and lend it back to her at a hefty interest rate. Maybe I should.

One of my dear friends is Sunder Raj - a Chindian. He boasts about drinking like a Chinese, but actually consumes alcohol like an Indian - two beers and he's out cold. Which presumably saves him from the evils of alcohol.

And the greatest thing about the Mixed Race is that we are like the Borg. In two generations, everyone will be mixed.

Resistance is futile. Prepare to be assimilated.