Friday, September 16, 2011

The Proletariat Lariat

I'm a pro-wrestling fan, and I believe politics is EXACTLY like wrestling. Politicians pretend to hate each other and they fight, and we pay our hard-earned cash to them.

Well, fuck politics, yay wrestling.

I'm a John Cena fan. Yeah, I said it. I like John Cena. He's colourful, he raps, and he gets booed at. Despite being one of the hardest-working wrestlers in sports entertainment. Despite being a face. Yeah, I'm a smart mark, so fuck you.

John Cena gets booed at, yes. And despite being in an industry where it's almost like a fucking beauty pageant plus popularity contest (it's actually physical theatre), he is still the biggest star in the business.

It's like being in the Olympic 100M dash, and you win the gold, despite having only one leg. It's like being deaf, blind, have cerebral palsy, and you're a best-selling author. Eat shit, Helen Keller.

Traditionalists hate him because he's marketed at kids. Cena probably represents what they hate about WWE. WWE is going PG-13. That means no swearing, no (FAKE) blood and no nude playboy photospreads.

Oh, they hate that shit. And they take it all out on Cena.

He's still a millionaire. Maybe for that reason.