Thursday, February 10, 2011

Battle at Hell's Gate

I decided to yell at someone over the phone today, and then send a strongly-worded letter to the company which caused some commotion.

You see, I am a member of a fitness club. A few weeks ago, I was told to come and settle some outstanding payment. There is an offer that they will waive the fees if I decide to sign another 12-month contract with the club.

Since I've been meaning to continue the membership anyway, since I will have more free time soon, I acquiesced to that, even though I did contact them to freeze my membership last year, with no positive response.

In any event, I will be busy till February, so I wanted to start in March.

So anyway, after paying, I was told I cannot freeze my account in February. Since I will be more or less busy in March, I decided to ask that my account be frozen in March.

They agreed, everyone was happy and I thought that was that.

Lo and behold. Today, someone called me up and said that my account will not be frozen and that I will have to pay for March as well.

I was like, "What? I thought this thing was settled."

"No! You have to pay!"

"Fuck you!"

"This is madness!"

"Madness? This! Is! Bangsar!"

"You still have to pay!"

"I will write a letter of complaint."

"You can write whatever."

Taking my spear and my Spartan shield, I wrote an email to their country manager.

A strongly-worded one. Stronger than ones the UN writes to stop genocide. The UN should hire me to write those letters.

Immediately, I get a response, from two different people, over the phone. And I got it done.

All I wanted was to freeze my account in March. That was all. I tried reason. It didn't work.

You know, when doing customer service, please be advised that:

1. The customer does not like being told that he or she cannot do what common sense dictates as possible.

2. WHen you tell the customer that everything is handled, everything should have been handled. Being sneaky about things is not acceptable.

The whole problem with this is the fact that they were being sneaky about it. They hid from me the fact that my account was not frozen. I didn't sign up for this shit. When I was told, "Everything is in order." I expect everything to be in order. I can take paying for February, but DO NOT lie to me. I do not have a vagina.

The second was to challenge me on my honesty. I follow up with what I say. I may have a big mouth, but I will do whatever I can to back myself up. I'm not a fucking liar. I'm not sneaky. I say what I do and do what I say.

If I say I am going to write a letter, I will write a letter. If I say I will do handstands, I will do handstands. Do not taunt me. You do not know what the fuck I will do.

And I am just one customer. There are bigger bitches out there, baying for blood. I do not want blood. I just want my account frozen in March. Was that so difficult?