I got back to work this week, after a week filled with drama from my flu. I rarely get sick nowadays, so I ham it up when I do.
So I came back to work, to find the system we helped started is working. So that's cool.
I checked in with some production houses I'm working with, and frankly, I don't know when we will ever see any money. Most of the cost is on me, as I spend time, energy, creativity and my health as well as my sanity on projects that may or may never see the light of day.
Well, we shall see. Doing production in Malaysia is like buying a lottery ticket with a very small prize. You get excited when you hit the paydirt, and then you find that it's mostly dirt and not enough pay.
My finances are shot to shit. I more often than not find myself making decisions between - "Either I spend this money on booze and hookers, or in saving my father's eyesight."
It is that dramatic.
Though I must say, the old man is part tree. Lots of doctors predict his death in the next few days after meeting him, and he's still smoking four packs a day and cutting down trees and shit.
They test him and they probe him and they scratch their heads. Recently, one doctor I think was confident that the old man has busted his kidneys and is about to die. They tested him, and his kidneys were fine.
When it's my time, I just want to get a morphine overdose. God, just let me die instantaneously.
Though I must say, I have never feared death. I'm afraid of pain, but never death. Death is like a long-overdue vacation.
Sometimes, I do wonder what it feels like to be idiots like you. I guess I'll find out, when I die and have my entire btain shut down.