Friday, July 24, 2009

Mabuk-mabuk Kepayang: Siri Bercakap Dengan Tin: LL Cool C

I was hanging out with my friend LL Cool C, when he started talking about se - about Turkish Delights. Yeah, that's right. Fucking sugar and gelatin. In a non-gay manner. At first.

LL Cool C: So, how do you like it?

Me: What? Turkish Delights? If the girl enjoys it as much as I do. Which means, female the process of making Turkish Delights, of course. You?

LLCC: To me, it's the face as they come -

Me: - to work, at Turkish Delight factories, right?

LLCC: Yeah, that's right. you ever had?

Me: Atchaya. Ann. Omm. Fantastic Turkish Delights, all.

LLCC: How good?

Me: Seven Positions of Buddha.

LLCC: How?

Me: You ever seen the Marica Reyes videos?

LLCC: Yeah.

Me: Times seven. Now THAT'S how we fucking roll! From now on, that's how we FUCKING ROLL!

LLCC: Turkish Delights, of course.

Me: Of course. You?

LLCC: Anne. Milk. That's it.

Me: How good is your Anne?

LLCC: It started off as raw animal energy. And after that...

Me: Fuck, man. Don't tell me you're one of those people.

LLCC: We didn't want to make love or anything. But -

Me: But you did! You fucking sick bastard! Fucking with emotion or emoticons is a felony! Motherfucker! What's the first rule of Fuck Club?

LLCC: Never fall in love.

Me: And the second rule of Fuck Club is?

LLCC: Never fall in love. Ever.

Me: Third rule, no shit, no blues.

LLCC: Fourth rule, fucks will go on as long as they have to.

Me: Fifth rule. If a person goes limp, taps out, the fuck is over.

LLCC: Sixth rule - one fuck at a time.

Me: And the seventh and final rule - if this is your first night, you have to fuck.

LLCC: ...

Me: In a Turkish Delight kinda way, of course.

LLCC: Of course.