Saturday, June 13, 2009

The Art of Phwoar!

Controlling an old man's diet is, I believe, more difficult and tricky than handling an entire department of victims.

The politics involved is astounding. I would have to use all the social, chemical, medical and culinary skills I have learned in the past 30 years or so of my life to ensure that no feathers are ruffled and that things go off without a hitch.

Here's the situation.

Primary Goal: reduce cholesterol, LDL and blood sugar levels by half a point within weeks.

Secondary goal: not offend the 'client' until he would boycott the meals.

Location: kitchen controlled by one female warlord.

Additional obstacle: righteous princess of power bent on winning hearts and minds with cholesterol bribery.

Weapons at hand: a diet of oats, HDL-rich corn and olive oil. A generous knowledge of food and cuisine styles from different parts of the world.

Scientific knowledge and skills.

Lots and lots of TV.

Enemy: the desire to eat fatty, sweet foods as encoded into the human genome. Human DNA for taste has not caught up with the multiple revolutions in the food industry. Humans generally prefer fatty, sweet food because it would help in hunting mammoths and ensure 'survival'. Like, thousands of years ago.

The sensitivity of old people.

Power struggle by warlords and warrior princesses.

Allies: one trained chemical engineer. One street-smart electronics expert.