Sunday, July 6, 2008

On the Bra-Burner

I have been accused of being a bra-burner.

I admit that sometimes, with some women, I'd love to burn their bras.

Some, for obvious reasons. I love nipples. Some, because they're lying.

I mean, come on, man, your tits aren't that big! You fucking stuffed some padding.

There are many types of padding. SOme are sponge, but advancement in polymers have made available silicon sacs.

In the industry, we call 'em chicken cutlets. These can increase women's sizes from A to DD. Or even F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N O or even P.

I'm not kidding you. There are manufacturers who come up with sizes up to P. I don't know if it is for a woman, or a gorilla.

The thing with silicon is that some people are alergic to it or something. Not the silicon, but the coating or the material around the sac. Then there's the temperature issue.

See, the advantage of silicon is that it feels and reacts almost the same way as adipose tissues.

They will get the body temperature and a lot of women say that it's like an extension of their titties.

However, seasoned experts can immediately tell whether or not silicon is used as padding. Use the Force.

Then there's sponge, which is a more traditional 'additive'. For some reason, most women still prefer this thing.

Some bras today have wire support. Their tits will sag, but the wires will support them like re-inforced concrete. Try punching a woman in the chest. Chances are, she will not feel any pain, if she is wearing underwire support.

Another advantage of underwires is the fact that if you are trapped in a room by mad men bent on taking over the world, you can use the underwire to pick the lock and save the day. This was illustrated in a Jefri Zain movie. Malaysia's very own James Bond.

So yes, for mad men bent on taking over the world like me, burning bras can ensure that spies cannot pick locks and have to face the wrath of my sharks with lasers on their foreheads.

The first time I catch a spy with an underwire bra, I'm burning her bra!

(This is way more interesting than writing about the Anwar sodomy case)