Friday, July 18, 2008

Flux Incapacitor

Man, this flu sucks.

It hovers just beyond a full-blown fever, but it didn't go down or anything like that.

I went to the clinic and the doctor gave me mucosolvan, some clarinase, cheapo antibiotics and, on my request, a bottle of bernadryl. I gave the doctor RM55. Fuck doctors, man.

Then, I withdrew some money and bought myself two cartons of orange juice and five packs of soupy instant noodles. I wanted some instant soup shit, but the store had none.

Then I went back home, and started nailing planks on the windows. I pushed the fridge against the door and loaded my AK-47, Desert Eagle and Barret M107 .50 calibre sniper rifle.

I planted land mines outside the door and explosives near the toilet. Turning on the gas stove, I started to distill glycerine from Protex Active soap. Add nitrates to it, and you get nitro-glycerin. Stabilize the nitro-glycerin with clay and sawdust, and you get dynamite.

After that, I put the gas canister against the door as well. One bullet, and the pressure would destroy it, turning the tank into a ball of flying shrapnel, 100metres across.

Last but not least, there's the chainsaw. Oiled and ready to go.

I'll be ready.

And in a few moments, I'll be watching Oprah.