Wednesday, June 4, 2008

I am Such a Fucking Genius

I told you so.

The future is now. Today.

I told you motherfuckers that fossil fuel is history. Petroleum is history. Petroleum is a fossil.

Market forces will drive the adoption of hydrogen fuel-cells or any other infinitely renewable sources of energy. Like nuclear or some shit.

Here's the thing. Petrol prices just went up 78 cents just now. On my way to the Press Club, I saw hundreds, maybe thousands of cars lining up for that final cheap tank-full of gas.

And that's only today. In the future, we will see petrol prices like that in Indonesia, with the daily, maybe even hourly price displayed outside a gas station. Imagine one day waking up and having to pay RM50 for a litre.

Hahahaha. Suckers.

The smart question to ask would be, with savings exceeding RM45 billion with the abolishment of the subsidy, what the fuck would the Government do with the money? Buy more private jets? How about a yacht? A mansion in Perth? Hell, why not throw in a Nasi Kandar restaurant or two. It's RM45 billion. Maybe more. Who gives a shit?

Do we still have to sell Johor to Singapore with this new saving? How about selling it to the States, if Anwar ever gets into power?

With RM45 billion, will we finally have enough to pay doctors competitive wages? Or are we just going to try to guilt them into coming back to Malaysia? Oh yeah, manipulation always work better than money. NOT. Hahahaha. What about other professionals?

Will the powers that be finally have the RM400 million I asked for in order to stab Rocky in the back and scratch his car? I know his password and I can access his email and his blog under the pretext of putting up a poster when BAM! I put some pictures of my dick there, opening Rocky up for felony charges involving distribution of pornography.

Then I'll give him 10% of my earnings, when he gets out of jail, and we're all square. I win. Rocky wins. You lose RM400 million. But hey, there're still RM44.6 billion to go, right?

How about this: Spend 15 billion to bring in hydrogen fuel-cell cars to this country. We even have FLYING CARS. Yeah. CARS THAT FUCKING FLY. Why not have that car?

Just pay Ole Gunnar Solksjaer and his Norweigan friends some money for the hydrogen fuel-cell technology they've had since the 1920s. And then pay some French hippies to design the bloody motherfcuking thing. And poof!I just solved the Malaysian energy crisis.

Since you may hate Proton, this new car manufacturer can be called Quark, Neutrino or Gluon. Quantum physics, yo!

With hydrogen fuel-cell cars, you can fucking generate enough electricity to power your homes. And then sell the excess to a grid managed by TNB. That way, instead of getting a bill from TNB, you get a cheque from them.

Meanwhile, TNB can cut losses managing inefficient power plants and divulge into this new technology to send information through power lines. Replacing TM's stupid Streamyx. Probably opening up a new possibility in IPTV.

Man, I am such a fucking genius.

I mean, rather than giving your son and son-in-law the fucking RM45 billion, give me the fucking money and I know what to do with it. For the country. For the future. For all mankind.

But alas, I have a vision that we are going to have a Disneyland Nasi kandar somewhere in the future, maybe at Gold Coast this time, just a stone's throw away from an Anglican Girl's School. Or maybe Prebysterian, or Epascopalian.