Friday, May 23, 2008

Wanking: Paleo-Pathetic

People do everything in this world out of fear.

Religion understands that. That's why most religions - the successful trillion-dollar ones - scare the bejeezus of people with the threat of eternal suffering.

People are afraid of being irrelevant, of being pushed out of the evolutionary pool, so they do everything they can. They play games.

And "there are many ways to lose the oldest game," wrote Neil Gaiman, Chaos be Upon Him, "Failure of nerve, hesitation… Being unable to shift into a defensive shape. Lack of imagination."

And the main motivator, the prime mover, is fear.

In the anime Neon Genesis Evangelion, there is something called the Absolute Terror field. Although used by giant robots to fight giant beings, what this AT field is simply the boundaries which create individuality and personality and everything else. It is a tiny psionic membrane that keeps each others' thoughts and awareness from polluting one another.

It has been theorized that everything is connected. That we're just one big happy, sloppy organism/eXistanZ(capital X, capital Z). And it is this field, this membrance, this fence that keeps everyone from being one lump of ectoplasmic goo.

Notice that it is terror that repels each and every one of us from each other. We then stay in different caves, huts or duplex apartments. Then, we devise borders on lands on which there were none. We create countries and then continents and then the UEFA Champions League.

That's on a macro scale.

On a micro-level, people still do EVERYTHING out of fear.

They go to work on time out of fear. They backstab other people out of fear. They ridicule other people out of fear. They make snide remarks and attempt to plant seeds of duplicity, deceit, doubt and whatever else, in order to gain an advantage against this Absolute Terror.

Worse than any other animal, humans are and will always be afraid.

They are afraid of getting old, so they kill all the young ones. They are afraid of looking stupid, so they make stupid smart things.

They are afraid of losing their imaginary number one spot, so they try to push everyone down.

They are afraid of everything and as such, will look to the strongest branch to hold on to. The strongest person, to be used as a shield.

Some people become really fearsome and domineering, simply because they are afraid of losing some measly muesli bars or the feigned respect of peers/liars/ass-kissers or whatever it is they're protecting.

All this for one simple thing - fear. Terror. Absolute Terror. And it doesn't matter how much you deny it. I can see it in your eyes. I can sense it. The fear is always there. If you do not have fear, you are not human.

My primary aim in life is to break free from this reign of terror fear has on everyone. I aim to be better. Not so much as to gloat, which I will always do anyway, despite the facts being in my favour or not.

Nope. I believe that it is my duty to break the chokehold of fear and put something else as my primum mobile. My prime mover. My motivation.

I have always believed that if I face ALL my fears to its final, irreversible conclusions, I will one day run out of things to be afraid of.

Or maybe I could just die, which would work tremendously.

Yeah, that's it. The only cure for fear is Death. So take death, a few packs a day or a few tablets.